A Tardis – Yeah that’s the ticket!

One Slightly Used Tardis -What the Birthers Need More Than Anything

A post by  Nathanael at The Fogbow yesterday hit the nail right on the head:

I2ANAL: I thought the contempt dance was a three-step: subpoena-compel-contempt. How can one be found in contempt if there was never an order to be in contempt of?

And wouldn’t a retroactive order to compel be a bit … well … silly? “The Court hereby orders the defendant to appear in this courtroom two weeks ago last Thursday. Attached: one Tardis.” Leading, of course to that granddaddy of all time paradoxes: defendant shows up two weeks ago, mooting the need for the order-to-compel-with-Tardis-attached, making it impossible for defendant to show up, thus necessitating the need for an order to compel … and the whole Orlyverse collapses in on itself in a galactic collision of reason and anti-reason.

And, has been pointed out, Malihi is an administrative judge, and any compel and contempt orders would have to be pushed through the superior court where the case is headed anyway, so why bother on that account, either? Too?

Yes, a Tardis is exactly what they need. The use of a Tardis is the only way any of their claims could magically become true. Look at these examples of their claims that could be dramatically improved and other events that might have a better outcome through the judicious use of a Tardis:

  • They could go back and change the hundreds of Civics books, legal articles, and guides that say anyone born in the US can become President.
  • They could actually have mentioned the two parent citizen nonsense before late 2008 so it didn’t look like they pulled it out of their ass thin air.
  • Mario Apuzzo and Leo Donofrio could have represented Ankeny from Indiana on appeal at SCOTUS (OK, it wouldn’t have helped but it would have been fun.)
  • They could go back and stop Gary Kreep from bringing Orly Taitz on board in his eligibility case with Alan Keyes. (Now that would be a complete shame.)
  • Someone could tell Orly that the Orange County LGBT HQ was not the proper place to file her petition to run for California Secretary of State.
  • They could tell Terry Lakin to find a better set of friends and an attorney with a specialty other than dog bite cases  to advise him on how to express his concerns about the President’s place of birth.
  • The could hint to Jerome Corsi that he consider finding another subject for a book.
  • They could advise Donald Trump to never, never mess with President Obama. Remember how he snatched that fly in mid flight?

[Update: I had to add one that just occurred to me.]

  • They would tell Darren Huff to leave his pink remote controlled dildo at home before driving to Tennessee to help Walter.

I am sure you could think of many more. Fortunately, Doctor Who is not ready to sell his Tardis and would never consider putting it in the hands of these fools. It would indeed lead to an irreparable rift in the space time continuum.

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This entry was posted in Birthers, Leo Donofrio, Mario Apuzzo, Orly Taitz, Trump and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to A Tardis – Yeah that’s the ticket!

  1. Thomas Brown says:

    The short version is that the Birfers would use their Tardis to negate the outcome of the Civil War and all that unpleasantness that followed. I mean, come on… Equal Rights for all? Where did that crazy idea come from?

    It is completely right that the Constitution should evolve because the Founders made it evolvable. They fashioned a self-sharpening tool with which we could continually build a better Nation. And we have, otherwise we’d have been conquered or self-destructed long ago.

    It is only a slight exaggeration to say that the Birfers et al think we’d be better off if we could just go back to the time when only well-off white men could vote or own property, which would include other human beings. No 14th Amendment, no WKA, no Brown v. Board of Education… Paradise! Except the Birfers’ Paradise would never have lasted until now… and certainly Mr. Obama would never have been born, much less elected President. So there would have been no need for Birfers!

    Talk about your temporal paradoxes!

  2. Sterngard Friegen says:

    Someone could use the Tardis to make sure CEL3 and Taitz never met. That way when I sit in dental chairs I wouldn’t have nightmares.

  3. IceTrey says:

    So all of those civics books say that anyone born to a citizen parent overseas can not be the President?

    • No, and where did I say that?

    • Thomas Brown says:

      A Natural Born Citizen is one who would be considered a citizen from the moment of birth. If an American citizen gives birth overseas, even if the paperwork takes a while to complete they will be considered to have been a citizen from birth onward.

      Anyone who is not considered a citizen at birth may, at some time in the future, apply to be Naturalized. Note that they used the term NATURALIZED, meaning not Natural Born Citizens yet, but made so later, plainly implying a duality. These citizens may hold any office (provided other requirements are met) EXCEPT President.

      It is exactly analogous to movies being either In Color, or Colorized. Colorized is a process used to make the footage appear to have been filmed in color, although it wasn’t. One OR the other. Period. One can ask, “Was this shot on color film, or black and white?” Only two choices.

      Anyone who says otherwise is lying. Certainly any sane person would have considered John McCain to be a Natural Born Citizen, even though born off-soil technically, but Congress passed a resolution explicitly calling him a NBC, just to forestall the type of lunatic harassment now being inflicted on Barack Obama.

      The fact that they didn’t pass a separate resolution for Obama indicates just how bizarre the claim that he, born of a citizen mother on the soil of the USA, is. He was seen as so obviously a NBC by Congress, that they didn’t think it was necessary.

      • IceTrey says:

        So it is your argument that “natural born citizen” is synonymous with “born a citizen”. In that case, why even use the word “natural”? The qualification could have just read, “must be born a citizen”. That was actually the way it was originally drafted until Jay suggested the final phrasing. So we know the Framers did not consider the two wordings synonymous. Basically you are saying that one of the greatest conglomerations of minds ever to exist included a word in one of the most important articles, in one of the greatest documents ever written that is completely superfluous.

        In that case exactly what part of speech is “natural” in the phrase? I say it is an adverb which modifies “born”. Therefore “born” must be a specific type of “born” and not general. Under your interpretation “natural” is no part of speech at all. It has no meaning. It defies logic and all of the rules of grammar to state that “natural born citizen” and “born a citizen” are synonyms. Let’s say that Congress passed a law which said anyone born in France after January 1, 2013 is a US citizen. It would be absolutely ludicrous, nay moronic, to consider such people “natural born citizens” of the United States. So you would be o.k. with it but not me.

        • The Supreme Court has recognized two and only two types of citizens in several decisions. Those are natural born and naturalized. What is your source for the assertion that that the original phrasing of the wording in Article II was to be “must be born a citizen”? When you male such assertions a source is required.

        • Thomas Brown says:

          Not the rules of grammar at the time, and ceratinly not legal writing. They often used parallel reinforcing terms, like “cease and desist.”

          And as for keeping America-haters from running for President, Charles Manson and Tim McVeigh were Natural Born Citizens.

          There has never been any case of a citizen born on the soil needing to be naturalized (except Indians born on Sovereign Reservations), and there has never been a difference between “natural born citizen” and some lower class like “born citizen” or “native born citizen.”

          So that’s it, friend. That’s what the Congressional Research Service concluded, and that’s what every Court has said and is going to say. So go cry in your beer, but don’t lecture me on reality. It is what it is.

          If you want to restrict Presidential eligibility so only two-citizen-parents is the new rule, go for it. Get behind an effort to pass another Constitutional Amendment accordingly, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

          There’s a word for folks who decide to ignore the rule of law: criminals. And there’s another for those who try to destabilze the USA: traitors.

        • IceTrey says:

          George Washington was a traitor. So were Franklin, Jefferson, Henry, Hamilton,etc.. If that is the company I keep I’m fine with it.

  4. IceTrey says:

    BTW, cease and desist are synonyms. Natural and born are not. Apparently you don’t seem to know what “synonym” means, therefore anything you have to say on the subject of grammar is suspect.

    • Thomas Brown says:

      Oh, I suppose not, IceT… being an American historian, a Shakespearean actor, married to a PhD Professor of Literature for 25 years, having worked professionally as an Editor and Dramaturg, and holding two degrees myself.

      Natural, Native, and Nation all share the same root as Nativity, i.e. the Latin “Natio,”
      and all involving birth; hence constructs like Mother Nature and Mother-land.

      Working backward, Latin/English translators return for “natio”:
      BIRTH
      BEING BORN
      NATION
      PEOPLE
      CLASS
      RACE
      TRIBE

      It is no stretch to see that Natural Born Citizen is an archaic parallel/reinforcing construction (Shakespeare did it all the time) implying “One of us… One who was born here.”

      Natural Born Citizen means simply and only that.. as opposed to Naturalized, meaning “one who was born elsewhere, but who has joined us Natives, Naturals, Nationals… However you want to put it.”

      Oh, and Cease and Desist are only near-synonyms, with slightly different overtones. Cease means Stop, and Desist means Stay Stopped.

      Are ya satisfied I know what Synonym means, there, Sparky, or do you still plan to wear that egg on yer face?

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